Clan Deviants' Standard License Agreement

The following End User License Agreement (EULA) uses the word "program" to describe the product to which it applies. The word "program" shall be construed to be used in the most general possible sense, in any and all applicable contexts, including but not limited to, computer software, information, suggestions, recommendations, or activities that may in any conceivable way involve Clan Deviants or any of its members, singly or in any group or subgroup.

The "short version" of the following EULA is: If something bad happens, it is your fault.

The usual bullshit about using this program at your own risk applies: You are solely responsible for anything that you do with your computer. Installing and running this program is a voluntary action that you choose to take; you agree to live with the consequences of your own choices and actions without blame or retribution to or upon others.

This version of the program is supplied to you free of charge. If you paid someone for it, go to your local police department and swear out a complaint of theft of your money and/or services against them.

If you experience any loss (monetary, property, physical, mental, moral, spiritual, or imaginary) due to the use of this program, you are entitled to a full refund of the purchase price of the program (see the previous paragraph) from whoever you paid for it (see below). This is total extent of your recourse; no other warranties, express or implied, exist. If your locality does not allow the exclusion of implied warranties, your license to use this program is null and void. If you use the program at any time without a valid license, you agree to call the FBI and all other relevant law enforcement agencies and confess to violating the author's copyrights and DEMAND that you be given the maximum sentences provided by all applicable international, federal, state, and local laws. If, for any reason, the thought enters your mind, or that of anyone that you know, or don't know, to sue anyone, other than yourself, over any issue that is in any way related to this program, your license to use this program was null and void 20 minutes BEFORE the thought occurred to the relevant person, place, or thing...again, in this situation, contact law enforcement, as above.

If a refund of any sort is due to you, the following non-exclusive list of costs are specifically excluded: copying fees, transfer fees, shipping and handling fees, extortion costs, bribery, transportation of any kind, taxes, weapons, ammunition, drugs, food, drink, prostitute services, recreation, mental defect, psychological or religious counseling, pay-toilet fees, loss of consortium, education, divorce, marriage, pregnancy, birth, death, medical costs, prostheses, insurance, lost wages or other income, computer hardware or software, acts of God, and/or hair on the palms of your hands.

In the event that you are a party in any legal proceedings that are in any way related to any aspect of this program, you agree to pay ALL costs of ALL parties that may be involved at any time during the course of the legal action (whether related to the legal action or not); this specifically includes your agreement to pay all attorney's fees and costs, court costs, monetary judgments, serve all jail time, and perform all services, that may be imposed, regardless of whom the judgments may be directed toward or who the prevailing party in the action may be. Any cost claimed by any party (verbally or otherwise) will be construed to be a cost proven with full documentation, whether such documentation is provided or not.

"All," as used herein, always means "all;" it never means "some." The provisions of this EULA apply to all relevant persons or entities individually and separately.

The author of this program is specifically exempt from all other provisions of this license. The author may, however, choose to invoke entitlement to any provision, or part thereof, randomly and capriciously, or not. If, at any time, there is doubt, question, or ambiguity, regarding the rights, privileges, or obligations, of the author of this program, you agree that the author may cause a re-write this EULA in any manner deemed suitable by the author and that all such recomposition shall be binding on all parties retroactively. The author's interpretation of this EULA shall take precedence over any statement, opinion, or ruling of any person, group, or entity of any jurisdiction however constituted. This paragraph supercedes and takes precedence over any, and all, other provisions of this license.